A Thin Line between Love and Hate
(Linda, 31 – Designer – Los Angeles, USA)
This is the last time I talk about this guy… I hate him because he seduced me into believing that he was something he wasn’t. He made me fall in love against my better judgment. He brought me joy in the beginning. There is a thin line between love and hate.
A faith in love restored
He talked about a future, a future I always wanted. He made me believe in love again. But also at the same time, there were always doubts in the back of my mind, inconsistent behaviors. I was open and honest. Tried to be patient. He was having such a hard time in his life, he used that as an excuse to be distant. He would claim it wasn’t him who was changing, but me. My feelings were thrown away. Made my heart ache, made my sleep interrupted. I would ask him if he was ok, was everything fine. Yes, he would reply, you’re just overthinking. I hate him because he made me leave in the end. Leave with my heart raw and broken. Leave with a piece of myself forever torn from my soul.
Love and hate
I hate him, I hate the way he makes me feel. I hate the way he makes my heart race when I’m around him. The fact that I can’t breathe or talk or think when I’m around him. I hate the way my mind goes blank when he’s next to me. I hate the way his brown eyes twinkle and the way he smiles and the way his body moves so gracefully. How smart and charismatic and genuine he is. I hate him and the fact that I love him. The realization of that came to me.
It’s hard. I want to get over him, but everything around me reminds me of him. Everything. I couldn’t distinguish the difference between love and hate. Was this just my frustration and anger? Was this something mixed or was there a battle in my heart between these two emotions, between love and hate?
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